Couples & Marriage Counseling

IN ST. CLOUD & ACROSS MN

Does it seem like the spark that brought you together has been snuffed out?

Not only do you feel disconnected from your partner—you feel disconnected from who you are in your relationship. You’re not sure how this happened, but these days it feels impossible to get through a day or week without the same fights and frustration.

It often feels like one of you is doing “more” for your household or family than the other and you’re seeing that resentment spill over into almost every interaction. Trust is hard (and getting harder). Physical intimacy is difficult and infrequent—some days, you feel more like roommates than romantic partners.

And yet, despite all of this: you love each other. You want to see this relationship work, but you know something needs to change.

It’s possible to break these cycles of conflict & disconnection.

How couples & marriage counseling works

My approach to couples therapy focuses on honoring each of you as individuals—your needs, past experiences, and perspectives—as well as your relationship as a whole. This empowers each of you to show up to the relationship as your authentic self and to cultivate that in your partner as well. Because that’s when you truly feel safe, seen, and supported.

We’ll start by understanding the bigger picture of your relationship: its history and timeline and how each of you view the positive and negative aspects of it. I’ll ask you to identify the strengths you see in your partner and in your relationship, as well as what you feel is missing and what needs are not being met.

The relationships we witnessed as a child or experienced early in life shape the way we view them as adults, so we’ll also spend time discussing your upbringing and past relationships. As we identify where your perceptions of what a relationship “should” (or shouldn’t) look like, we’ll also see how that may be impacting your role and your expectations of your partner.

From there, we’ll identify what each of you views as essential in your relationship. What are the deal breakers, the non-negotiables, the basic needs you need to be met to feel loved and supported? As we compare these between partners, we’ll find the areas where there may be discrepancies or unmet expectations.

Together, we’ll work on rebuilding a foundation for your relationship where both your needs and wants are met, along with the skills and strategies you need to maintain that long-term.

what you’ll learn

Things we can work on:

  • Boundary setting

  • Healthy conflict resolution strategies

  • Emotional & physical intimacy

  • Division of labor

  • Infidelity or lack of trust

  • Communication skills

Imagine a relationship where…

You feel emotionally connected to your partner.

✓

You feel like you can seek them out for the support only they can give. This emotional intimacy leads to more physical intimacy and safety in the relationship.

When conflict happens, you know what to do.

✓

You can both communicate about your hurt, triggers or emotions, and feel like you’re being seen and understood. You know how to disagree in a healthy way.

You feel like equals.

✓

When one of you feels unsupported, you know how to ask for what you need. Both of you are thriving as individuals, as well as partners.

ready to get started?

“Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.”

- Brene Brown

faqs

Common questions about couples & marriage counseling

  • Definitely not! I work with couples who are dating, engaged, or married. If your partner and you need some support in reconnecting, making decisions about your future, and improving communication, I would love to support you—no matter what stage of relationship you’re in.

  • Couples counseling is only effective if both partners are committed to the process. While it’s normal to feel some uncertainty or hesitancy entering couples therapy (it is a big step!), it’s important that you both want to be there. If your partner isn’t interested, consider individual therapy. While we can’t change your partner, we can work on helping you understand yourself, communicate effectively, and ask for what you need not only in this relationship, but all areas of your life.

  • I leave this up to the couple, The first session can be held together as a couple, where we will talk about goals, and what they feel the presenting problem is. Some couples like to have the opportunity to have their own time to go through their family history and their perception of the presenting problem on their own, and then come together in the third session to go over everything together. We will discuss this and make a decision based on your relationship and preferences.

  • If you’re going to get the most out of therapy, it’s important that you’re working with the therapist who’s right for you. That’s why I offer a free consultation. Click this link to schedule yours, and we can discuss whether I’m the best fit for your goals.